Unbreakable Bond

I remember as a child thinking about how perfect marriages are. Two people that love each other unconditionally are bound together and everyone involved lives happily ever after. When I was younger I did not even consider the ideas that not all marriages are perfect because it doesn't work like that. Couples go through different challenges that I couldn't even imagine were possible at such a young age. As I got older, I started to understand that not all marriages have an unbreakable bond. One of the heartbreaking forces that I've seen pull apart families is the act of infidelity. These acts can be so hard to handle and as I saw the damage done in others families I promised myself that I would have complete fidelity in my marital relationship.

Fidelity is defined as, "faithfulness to a person, cause, or belief, demonstrated by continuing loyalty and support." Although this definition may be simple and straight froward, there can be so much included when describing what it means to be faithful in a marriage. Elder Kenneth W. Matheson once said, "Fidelity includes refraining from physical contact—but that is not all. Fidelity also means complete commitment, trust, and respect between husband and wife. Inappropriate interactions with another person can erode fidelity." He also gave an example of a couple where one of the partner's got a little friendly with a coworker of the opposite sex. Although to the individual it seemed harmless, the other spouse was deeply hurt by this relationship. When we are investing more time in someone else, rather that our spouse, we are not being completely true to our spouse. 

The author of Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage discusses the progressive stages of unfaithfulness to a spouse. These include: 

• Behaviors that seem innocent (i.e., missionary work, doing good, helping in some capacity)
• An affection grows that claims part of one’s heart
• Extramarital flirting.  Justification-“no harm intended”
• Relationship declared as “special”
• Opportunities created to see “special friend” (One worries what others will say/think)
• Excuses made, lies told to hide time and resources spent on other person
• Spouse is displaced. Emotional intimacy exchanged with “special friend”
• Faultfinding with spouse
• Fantasies about other person
• Physical affection– a squeeze, a kiss, a hug
• Sexual relations

All of these stages can be avoided as we become aware of them if they ever begin. Although in the beginning, they may seem silly or small, all of them lead to a change of emotional feelings, which then lead to bigger problems. The safest thing to do is to use this list of examples of what not to do and instead find a way to draw closer to our spouses every chance we get.  

In this fallen world, it is hard to make our marriages perfect, but we can do our best to be faithful to our spouse, especially because that is what we vow to do when we enter into marriage. We can each make the choice to be pure and act with fidelity. Not all marriages are going to work, but I know that as for me and my marriage I want to create an unbreakable bond that everyone can achieve if they have the desire and work for it. I believe that unbreakable bonds do exist and I will do all that it takes to make my marriage fit that mold.